Files in this section are 64kbit/s 22.05kHz Stereo (JS) unless otherwise noted.
IS - Intensity Stereo, JS - Joint Stereo, S - Stereo, DC - Dual Channel, SC - Single Channel (mono)
|586kB, 1:14||[8/17/96] Food additives song.|
Al 5000: I'm afraid, Yakko. My mind is going. I can feel it. My mind is going, Yakko.
Yakko: It's a short trip.
Al 5000: Hello. My name is Al. I know a little song. Tum tum ta dum tum ta dum ta dum ta dum dum.
Al 5000: You'll have to return to your sleeping chambers. Resuscitation isn't scheduled until we're close to Pluto.
Yakko: Sorry. If I sleep any more, I'll be close to goofy.
Wakko: As long as we don't get too close to Uranus.
Dot: I thought we discussed cutting that line.
|839kB, 1:47||[10/18/96] Yakko's nations of the world.|
|[12/31/97] Yakko's Universe song.|
|890kB, 1:54||[1/7/98] Wakkos America song, featuring the states and capitals.|
|[8/2/98] Theme from Animaniacs.|
Sultry-sounding assistant: Head? Butt Head?
Butthead: Uh, yeah?
Assistant: Mr. O'Brian will see you now.
Beavis: So like in Heaven, will all the chicks do anything I want?
St. Peter: Uh, no.
Beavis: That sucks! Do I get x-ray vision? Do I get some nachos?
St. Peter: No.
Beavis: Are you sure this is Heaven?
Phone sex operator: I'm naked. Are you there? Hello.
Butthead: Hey Beavis, I think I just inoculated.
|590k, 1:15||[8/29/96] Classic short. Beavis & Butthead are not allowed to laugh for a whole week -- and it's sex-ed week!|
Counselor: How do you feel about your mother?
Beavis: Um, like this? Yeah, yeah. Kind of like this
Butthead: That's not how I feel your mother.
Beavis: Shuttup, fartknocker!
Butthead: Please come out, please?
Beavis: Uh, yeah. Me too. Hey Butthead, it won't come out.
Butthead: Maybe you should try using manners.
Beavis: Oh yeah, oh yeah. Um, please come out of my butt. Please!? Thank you, drive through.
Butthead: Manners! Hey Beavis, will you please wipe my butt?
|52k, :06||[9/28/96] Butthead finds relief|
Stuart's mother: Thank you boys for bringing Stuart's homework to school for him. He's so sick, he spent all night in the bathroom.
Butthead: Really? Diarrhea?
Stuart's mother: Yes, I'm afraid so. Now boys, come on. Say, have you boys eaten breakfast?
Chalmers: Now, are these children as smart as they look?
Skinner: Well, let's pick one at random. How 'bout that one?
Chalmers: You mean this boy here?
Skinner: No! No, Lisa Simpson.
Chalmers: When was the Battle of New Orleans?
Lisa: January 8, 1815, two weeks after the war ended.
Chalmers: First rate.
Ralph: What's a battle?
Milhouse: Keep your eyes peeled for Injuns, I mean Native Americans. They're after us because we gave them those blankets infected with cooties.
Ralph: I ate all my caps!
Skinner: Now we're into the dregs. Here's Ralph Wiggum's entry. Pre-packaged Star Wars characters still in their display box? Are those the Limited Edition action figures?
Ralph: What's a diorama?
Ralph: Can you open my milk, Mommy?
Miss Hoover: I'm not Mommy, Ralph. I'm Miss Hoover.
Reader: At last the world is safe, eh Fallout Boy?
Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?
Ralph: Chicken necks?
Mrs. Lovejoy: Good. Very good. Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.
Ralph: I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart k.. Oomph! I bent my Wookie!
Lisa: Hey Ralph, wanna come with me and Allison to play anagrams?
Allison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person.
Ralph: My cat's breath smells like catfood.
Moe: Yeah, just a sec, I'll check. Uh, Amanda Hugginkiss. Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss. Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high.
Moe: You little S.O.B. If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Barney: Uh oh, my heart just stopped... Oh there it goes.
Laura Powers: Hello, I'd like to speak to Ms. Tinkle. First name -- Ivana.
Moe: Ivana Tinkle, just a sec... Ivana Tinkle, Ivana Tinkle. All right, everybody put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle.
Grandpa Simpson: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, in a song that may never have existed, in a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
His Girlfriend: You're so sweet.
Grandpa Simpson: Ooh, I feel all funny - Ahh I'm in love! No, wait, it's a stroke.
Bart: How could you Krusty, I'd never lend my name to an inferior product.
Krusty: Oh! They drove a dumptruck full of money up to my house, I'm not made of stone.
Bart: This camp was a nightmare, they fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export and one of the campers was eaten by a bear.
Krusty: Oh my God!
Bart: Well actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh my God! Well, I'm gonna make it all up to you. I'm gonna show you kids the time of your life! Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on Earth - Tiajuana!
Farmer: That's the third cow this month, at this rate all my cattle are going to die before the winter's through.
Sheriff Barbrady: This is nothing out of the unusual, cows turn themselves inside out all the time.
Farmer: People have been saying they've been seeing U.F.O.'s around.
Sheriff Barbrady: (laughing) U.F.O's!
Farmer: Yeah, and black Army and CIA helicopters and trucks.
Sheriff Barbrady: That is the silliest thing I ever heard.
Farmer: What was that?
Sheriff Barbrady: That, that was a pigeon.
Cartman: No kitty, this is my potpie.
Cartman: No kitty! That's a bad kitty!
Cartman: No kitty, this is my potpie.
Cartman: Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!.
Cartman's Mom: Well then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
Kyle: Hey Stan, did you see that rainbow this morning?
Stan: Yeah, it was huge.
Cartman: Huh! I hate those things.
Kyle: Nobody hates rainbows.
Stan: Yeah, what's there to hate about rainbows?
Cartman: Well, you know you'll just be sitting there minding your own business and they'll come marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass and you'll be like - Hey! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!
Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?
Cartman: I'm talking about rainbows, I hate those frigging things.
Kyle: Rainbows are those little arches of color that show up during a rainstorm.
Cartman: Oh, Rain-bows - oh yeah I like those - those, are cool.
Stan: What were you talking about?
Cartman: Huh? Oh nothing, forget it.
Kyle: What marches in, crawles up your leg...
Kyle: ...and bites the inside of your ass?
Chef: But you see Mr. Mayor, you can't stop serving salisbury steak in our public schools, what's next? Meatloaf?
Mayor: We are quite aware of your concerns chef but...
Johnson: Mayor the geologist is here to see you.
Mayor: My geologist, now! Tell him the infection is fine and I don't need another check-up.
Johnson: No, Mayor that's a gynecologist, a geologist studies the Earth.
Mayor: Don't you think I know that, how dare you insult my intellect! I went to Princeton for god sake, you get out of my office!
Johnson: I'm not in your office Mayor, I'm talking to you through a speaker.
Mayor: Just send in the geomotrist!
Mayor: You are fired buddy!
Johnson: Thank you Mayor, it's been great working for you.
|[12/27/97] O Holy Night, as sung by Eric Cartman. The .rm file is in realvideo format (1.65Mb; 72kbit/s video, 160x112 @ 7.5fps; 40kbit/s audio, 16kHz mono) It will download then play (not streaming).|